Post: #31

(Yesterday 10:20 AM)mark-in-dallas Wrote:  I know I haven't really said anything that you want to hear, and I hope you realize that it isn't because I don't sympathize with you and am just being an asshole, but because I DO care and want to make sure you make it through this okay, no matter what ends up happening.

On that note, my take on her behaviour is that she was being manipulative, selfish and trying to make sure that you weren't going anywhere, just in case her plans fall through or things don't work out with the other guy.

My second wife did the same thing to me, and before we even got married I'd asked that if she ever stopped loving me to end things with me before moving on or cheating on me, and telling her that if that were to happen I would understand and accept it and do everything I could to help her. Instead, she started having an affair, made the asshole she was screwing behind my back our best friend, and when she finally was in the exact situation she wanted to be in she dumped me and screwed me over as much as she could in the process, maxing out all of our credit cards, turning friends and family against me and expecting me to just walk away with nothing.

I ended up moving half way across the country, because if I'd stayed there I think its very likely I would have killed both of them. I started a new life here in Dallas, picked up the pieces of my shattered heart and made it though a little tattered and torn, but a better person for it. And I know that you can do the same!

I feel for you friend, some of my mutual friends are against me now as well. And when its come to fights, its always been that way.

I know you're just looking out for me, Because you'd probably hate to see anyone go through what you experienced. Just the same way that if I ever have a child, I'm going to make sure his or her childhood will never be as lonely and miserable as mine was. I'll make sure they can depend on their parents and family and have a real childhood.

If things don't work out, I'm going to try to take the highest road I can make her last impression of me as good as it can be. Because she really is losing something, I already have much more to offer than I had, and I plan on making this as apparent as possible in the remainder of our time together. To the point that when September rolls around, she might second guess herself and want another month with me.

I have the advantage of never having been this good or consistent before, The longer I have to show that, the better off I am.

Post: #32

(Yesterday 9:38 AM)TheLastDecision Wrote:  ...
As far as peoples current reactions go, I'm generally not very well liked. Which is odd since I've always been nice to everyone, but strangers never seem to hang around long. It could be my lack of eye contact since that tends to make me a little nervous. But that's something ive been working on since this all started.
...

You're not very well liked by others because you don't like yourself. In the other thread, this is pretty evident.

Love yourself the way you'd like others to love you, keep doing so, be your best cheerleader instead of your own worst critic. Sustain that train of thought and feeling. Then see how things change for you.

Post: #33

(Yesterday 6:30 PM)kimosabe Wrote:  You're not very well liked by others because you don't like yourself. In the other thread, this is pretty evident.

Love yourself the way you'd like others to love you, keep doing so, be your best cheerleader instead of your own worst critic. Sustain that train of thought and feeling. Then see how things change for you.

Or at least do my best to fake it. I default to feeling sorry for myself, or looking for sympathy. Which means most of my confidence is faked, but even so I'm trying to change all that lately. Just gotta keep trying, be consistent, and work harder than I ever have.

Post: #34

Don't fake it mate. That old adage "fake it till you make it" is utter and complete bullshit.

BE it. Be it until you become it. Let your desired persona, that of who you really are, come from within you.