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Laid Brand And Lap Dances
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SyraBrian
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Post: #1
Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-18-2012 9:28 AM

How's that for a catchy title?

I'm a fifty year old male who bears a striking resemblence to Drew Carey and George Costanza's middle-aged love child. Because of this tragic condition, I've gone to the strip club more often than most.

Last night, I washed and shampooed with Dirty Clean Shampoo and Bodywash and headed out to my favorite haunt.

At strip clubs, I judge a pheromone product's effectiveness by the percentage of mini-lap dances and cheek and neck kisses I receive at "pervert row", the area where customers tip the stage dancers.

Rather than bore you with details, I'm just going to give you the stats.

The general average is that thirty percent of dancers will give me a mini-lapdance. Roughly the same percentage will kiss me. This doesn't bother me because it's generally more than the other middle-aged males get. Mini-lap dances and kisses tend to be aimed more at the young studs than guys like me.

Last night, four out of five dancers (80%) grinded on me and the same percentage kissed me on the cheek. One girl kissed but didn't grind and another grinded but didn't kiss.

I guess I should thank Laid Brand for helping me to vastly exceed my baseline percentage. Beer
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2012 9:29 AM by SyraBrian.)
05-18-2012 9:28 AM
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Post: #2
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-18-2012 1:20 PM

Nice research method!
05-18-2012 1:20 PM
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Data4
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Post: #3
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-18-2012 1:26 PM

Awfully tempted to try this out again. Heh... I need to pick up some Laid products. I was kind of turned off of the concept by the Dial Magnetic body wash. Seemed like a waste of perfectly good Pheromones, but the reviews I'm reading about Laid stuff has me seriously reconsidering that line of thought.
05-18-2012 1:26 PM
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SyraBrian
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Post: #4
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-18-2012 1:47 PM

(05-18-2012 1:26 PM)Data4 Wrote:  Awfully tempted to try this out again. Heh... I need to pick up some Laid products. I was kind of turned off of the concept by the Dial Magnetic body wash. Seemed like a waste of perfectly good Pheromones, but the reviews I'm reading about Laid stuff has me seriously reconsidering that line of thought.

I liked Dial Magnetic, so I was excited about getting Dirty Clean. For one thing, I'm a compulsive sprayer and dabber, so something that's "wash 'n' go" doesn't play to a pheromone-related weakness of mine.

Off stage, interactions with the dancers were exceedingly pleasant and rather kinesthetic. And one male customer whom I briefly talked to suddenly started acting like my wingman. He introduced me to dancers with the proclamation that I was the greatest guy he ever met. That was weird.
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2012 1:49 PM by SyraBrian.)
05-18-2012 1:47 PM
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LAID Brand
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Post: #5
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-28-2012 9:05 PM

(05-18-2012 9:28 AM)SyraBrian Wrote:  How's that for a catchy title?

I'm a fifty year old male who bears a striking resemblence to Drew Carey and George Costanza's middle-aged love child. Because of this tragic condition, I've gone to the strip club more often than most.

Last night, I washed and shampooed with Dirty Clean Shampoo and Bodywash and headed out to my favorite haunt.

At strip clubs, I judge a pheromone product's effectiveness by the percentage of mini-lap dances and cheek and neck kisses I receive at "pervert row", the area where customers tip the stage dancers.

Rather than bore you with details, I'm just going to give you the stats.

The general average is that thirty percent of dancers will give me a mini-lapdance. Roughly the same percentage will kiss me. This doesn't bother me because it's generally more than the other middle-aged males get. Mini-lap dances and kisses tend to be aimed more at the young studs than guys like me.

Last night, four out of five dancers (80%) grinded on me and the same percentage kissed me on the cheek. One girl kissed but didn't grind and another grinded but didn't kiss.

I guess I should thank Laid Brand for helping me to vastly exceed my baseline percentage. Beer

Hahaha! I love this my man! Thank you so much for the review. I love it!
05-28-2012 9:05 PM
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SyraBrian
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Post: #6
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
06-04-2012 12:43 PM

(05-28-2012 9:05 PM)LAID Brand Wrote:  Hahaha! I love this my man! Thank you so much for the review. I love it!

Thanks! May do another test at the club soon.

Actually, I'm also going to be showering with the Dirty Clean during the days I canvass companies for my sister's cleaning service.
(This post was last modified: 06-04-2012 12:44 PM by SyraBrian.)
06-04-2012 12:43 PM
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SyraBrian
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Post: #7
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
06-21-2012 10:43 AM

Haven't been able to round up any strip club money. May go anyways and avoid the landlord.
06-21-2012 10:43 AM
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SyraBrian
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Post: #8
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-09-2013 9:20 AM

It's been almost a year since I visited that club.

Looks like Friday will be a great night to go. They'll be more than 25 girls working. Most are new, but some I remember as being very attractive. It will also be 80's night, which should increase the percentage of customers in my age range and reduce the young, hip and buff crowd.

Plus, one of favorite former dancers is now running the show. It will be interesting to see how a former stripper's perspective enhances the club.

Stayed tuned for another exciting presentation of "LaidBrand and Lap Dances"!
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2013 9:22 AM by SyraBrian.)
05-09-2013 9:20 AM
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Kahotep
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Post: #9
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-09-2013 1:16 PM

Want to get this so bad but don't see the point if I have oils

The truth is stranger than fiction... It's best to ascertain a reasoning for yourself than to rely on another persons judgement
05-09-2013 1:16 PM
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nicktoons
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Post: #10
RE: Laid Brand And Lap Dances
05-09-2013 2:36 PM

(05-09-2013 1:16 PM)Kahotep Wrote:  Want to get this so bad but don't see the point if I have oils

No offense intended K, but if you don't see the point then don't friggin get any. This is your 2nd or 3rd post about pulling the trigger. Like my dad says, "shit or get off the pot". The only way you will know is if you try it.

Mine arrived today and I could not be more pleased. I actually took a shower before I went home for lunch to see what effect it would have on the wife. She gave me the customary hug when I walked in, said to me "you smell great!" and after I was done eating I was told that she was feeling horny all the sudden and did I want to be part of it. 10 minutes later(lol yeah I have no will power) we were both exhausted and she still commented how good I smelled. This was without any paste, just the shampoo.

I can't wait to put the paste in my hair and try it out at the fitness center! Should be interesting to say the least.
05-09-2013 2:36 PM
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