Post: #1

I've got a problem with a guy I work with. I don't know what I did to him to make him act like he does, but for some reason, this guy has it out for me. His attitude towards me is complete shit, and on days when I'm filling in as the crew leader, he goes all passive-agressive and undermines me every chance he gets. I've tried to extend olive branches, reaching out to him for his input on stuff, and he just scoffs and goes over my head. When I'm just a regular worker-bee, he does all these subtle dick moves to piss me off. He talks shit about me, saying things like I'm an ass-kisser, just because I'm ambitious and making connections to try to advance my career. I think he's jealous. He used to be in a temporary crew leader position similar to mine, but backed out because it meant he had to work the occasional weekend. Now he gets overlooked for stuff.

The problem is, he's crafty. He's not overtly breaking any rules, and I'm not the type to go running to HR every time my feelings get hurt anyway, so seeking administrative help from work is probably a no-go. I've done everything I could from a sociological standpoint to make peace, but he's not having it.

Honestly, I'm almost at the point where I want to do something that's likely to backfire and get me in trouble. I'm not destroying my career over this prick, so I'm thinking chemical warfare to at least keep him out of my hair might work.

Any of you ever dealt with something like this and had success with a phero combo to ward off the bad juju? I'd love to hear about it.

Post: #2

I can't see pheromones doing much to change anything, since this guys already set his mind on fucking with you at every opportunity, and it sounds like you've really tried everything you could to make peace with him. And, from my read this guy is a slacker, and probably resents anyone that is more driven than he is, because that just makes his unmotivated lazy ass stand out.

Calling you names like "ass-kisser" definitely suggests that he's jealous, and I think it also indicates that he thinks you're a wuss.

Personally, I think it's time to stop trying to be civil and start dishing it back at him. Next time you're leading a crew that he's on, assign the worst job there is to him, and the next time you hear him talking shit about you, dish it right back at him. If you're in a lead position and he goes over your head, advise the person that assigned you the lead that he refuses to be a team player and is undermining your authority, and if there are any safety concerns involved, let that person know that he is potentially undermining safety.

I wouldn't run to HR either, because that just reinforces you as being the person he's trying to make you out to be, but I would show those that I work with and for I held the position that I had for a reason, and that I deserved and was worthy of the authority and respect that the position should carry.

The only problem I see with going that route is that he may not give a shit about his job and if that's the case he could decide to start a fight or an all out war against you, figuring fuck it he may get fired but he's going to take you out with him.

Tough predicament to be in, but you've got to figure out a way to stop it, or nothings going to change, and it will probably just keep getting worse.

This guy sounds like the bully in school who ran around threatening everybody and beating them up, until some little girl beat the shit out of him and he ran home to mommy crying.

Post: #3

This guy needs a Bully beat down by Jason Mayhem Miller Since he's crafty, you can try something similar to A314 to make him feel intimidated and make the beta side of him be shown to others. But be careful though as this lazy ass probably don't give a fuck about his job as Mark said, he will probably jumping with all he's got to bring you down together. Still, A314 or similar is your best bet. Might as well turn into something funny..

Post: #4

Methyl Ether Estetraenol is the phero with the strongest positive effects on guys, that i know. If that doesn't help, you may want to try something intimidating.
It's probably not always a good idea to try to be peaceful with the bully. Also they just don't deserve that kind of treatment. Though if you go to war with him, you always have to think ahead. This may be exhausting and time consuming.

Post: #5

If you could figure a way to dose him with a bunch of Androstenone every day, you may be able to turn everyone else against him.

Post: #6

Dealing with a Shithead at Work
by thundr

1. Show minimal response- ignore/avoid that which causes disruption to your psyche. He feeds off your reactions. No reaction = no food for him. Starve that bastard. This is most important of all. Wave his blab off bc you don't have time for him.

2. Deflect/reflect insults- be civil but use your wit to flip the script on him especially in public or around coworkers. Wait for him to make a sub par comment then pounce on it like a puma. But do it with style and class. Make a joke or quip at his expense then laugh it off and give him the "Im just kidding buddy". Warning* this is gonna piss him off for a few days so run clean for awhile and ignore him. Do this enough times and he will be walking on eggshells around you while making even more mistakes. Over time thsi dude will be weary of anything that comes out of his lips around you.

3. Define him- what kind of person are you dealing with? Aggressive ones are more into physical intimidation. Taunting ones are self explanatory that use verbal swords. Often they combine the two because of their insecurities about themselves.

4. Strengthen your bond with coworkers- Be a helpful harry for awhile and subtly gain some social proof. In short get some ppl on your side of the fence. A few good deeds or jokes will build rapport and increase the effect of #2 in this list. Do this with peers and not supers bc that will fuel the brown nose comments from dickhead.

5. Call him pal, buddy, friend, bro alot in almost every response to him. They really hate this...

6. Last and final resort is to beat that ass off the clock and on the greasy.

Post: #7

Thanks for the input, guys.

You've all pretty much nailed him, except for one thing: He's actually a pretty competent worker. The one thing I will never hold against him is his ability to do the work. In fact, that's one of the things I've used as an olive branch. I've gone to some of my peers in different areas to seek advice, and each time, I've made it absolutely clear that whatever this is is personal, because I have never, and will never say anything about his ability to do his job. It's one of my tactics for keeping myself out of his level and maintaining a little integrity. I'm practically bragging on him to other people.

I hate fighting fire with fire, but maybe that's what needs to happen. I'm already doing a few dick moves of my own. For example, he's short and balding and I've made it a point to stand up straight and slowly run my fingers through my hair when he's near by and saying to no one in particular, "Ahhh... getting time for a haircut again." Yeah, I know, real mature, but fuck it.

I like the idea of subtlely dosing him. He's married. Wonder what the wife would think if he came home with copulins on. Hmmm...

Post: #8

He's in love with you!

Post: #9

lmao @ the showering him in none!

You guys don't mess around!

Post: #10

Instead of pulling Dick moves back at him, pull him to the side, and say "I don't know if I did something to offend you, but we got to work together, so lets get it out and pastus. Theres a bar I go to. Ill buy you a drink, we talk this through, and start all over. IM not trying to be buddy buddy with you, but weve got to work together 8 hours a day.... So lets try to make it as pleasant as possible" Or something diplomatic like that.

Then you can bathe in social mones or not. Just talk, let him say whatever is on his mind, say your piece, respect and expect respect and you'll have an ally at work.

Pulling tit for tat dick moves will just make life miserable.