Kalzon
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RE: Noob - need help
03-24-2017 1:28 PM
BarefootOxford,
In the air, on the land, and in the water, you are always a wise and patient advicer.
(08-22-2016 10:58 AM)BarefootOxford Wrote: I suggest you check out the Married Man Sex Primer from Athol Kay. There's some pretty good marriage-repair advice in that book.
This is often caused by a few factors:
1. She knows you are stuck with her. You're married, and you won't cheat. If you do, she has the nuclear option of divorcing you, and in most countries, taking your kids, your paycheck, the house, and your future earnings.
2. She is allowed to behave badly. She's allowed to be bitchy, moody, asexual, spend too much money, flirt with other guys, act like a man, etc.
3. You've let yourself go, and other women aren't interested in you. If other women want you, she will have to work harder to keep your interest.
The good news is that you can fix this by fixing yourself. The bad news is that it's not as easy as spraying on some chemicals. They'll help, but you have to address the underlying problems.
First thing is to evaluate yourself. Have you gained weight? Are you acting like she is the boss? Are you flirting with other women?
If so, get into the gym and start weightlifting. It's almost always Very Good for men to lift weights. Get a trainer or find a program you can do. Whatever you can do, start with that. Once you're gaining muscle and losing fat, she's going to notice that you've changed, and start wondering why. It is critical that you evade answering this question when it comes up, or answer "I enjoy it." You must always focus on making yourself happy as the reason that you are changing. If she thinks you are doing it for her, this will not work, because she knows that she's the boss.
If your body changes, you'll need new clothes. Get them. Get NICE clothes that you look great in. When you go out, you want other women noticing you. Your wife will notice that they're noticing, and it's going to change her view of you. If other women want you, she will want to keep you, and she knows that sex is a strong way to keep you. When you act with other women, be charming. Little by little, become more and more charming with them. When she asks, or gets indignant, be innocent. You were not inappropriate, you were just being pleasant with a pleasant lady.
Finally, stop treating her like the boss. Take charge of things. If you're taking her on a date, plan it out and do it. Don't ask her "What do you want for dinner?" TELL her, "Let's get dinner at Chez Sploosh and then go see FantasticMovie tonight," and see if she bites. Some nights, tell her that you're going to go do something and she's welcome to join you. Start leading. Don't be bossy, just be a leader. Also, tease her when she's being silly, grumpy, or argumentative.
Continuing to do what you've been doing is a no-win proposition, and if you can't win, you also can't lose. If you can't lose, then you can do whatever you like and maybe turn your relationship around.
TheLaw,
You rock and shine in your own way.
(08-23-2016 1:04 PM)theLaw Wrote: Again........why are you acting like such a victim?
Take charge of your life and your marriage........get your balls back!!!
New rules: You are in charge........your wife is acting like a child.......so treat her like one. Set a good example for your daughter.....and act like a man. Both will respect you......even if they don't like you.
Best of luck!
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