Quote:After stumbling across this forum late last week, joining, and then spending hours reading the various journals and product reviews, I finally decided to introduce myself.
With so many thorough and helpful reviews and personal experiences it was difficult to know where to begin and to not become overwhelmed. Buzz's "newbie links" were helpful.
Welcome the the pherotruth family! Glad you found the links useful.
Quote:I ended up going with some of SteveO's PheromoneXS products as my initial foray into Pheromones:
The ACE spray pack (Ascend, Cohesion, Evolve), as well as Connections and Bliss.
Congratz on your purchase. With this set of products you have a really nice base to start out with! Phero xs is known for the especially high pheromone content in their products. Ascend will be your alpha products (it does smell a bit pungent), Cohesion will be comfort for females (high on androstadienone), evolve is the sexual product, connections a deeper social and bliss is more geared towards self effects.
Start of slow and don't use too much product (as I said, they have high pheromone content and pack a punch)
Quote:Who you guys recommend any other items for me, like Wolf, Nude Alpha, Glace, or New Pheromone Additive or do you think I have enough to start???
Well you certainly have enough to get things started. I'd first see how she reacts to the products you have ordered before considering buying other products.
Quote:My goals are personal development and relationship repair. I'm married, mid-40's (spouse is 3 yrs younger), I'm a former college athlete who's still in great shape (6'2", 200lbs) working out multiple times per week. Advanced degrees, good job. But I have a spouse who is disinterested in sex. She is the epitome of the "great mom, bad wife". She is attractive, slender, and smart but has focused almost all of her time on our kids (2 in high school and one in grade school). Granted we have kids with learning and emotional issues, but over the years that has become her sole priority. Therapy hasn't helped.
My current personal development includes improving my alpha side for the family issues (I'm alpha at work, at sports, and socially)... much of which I acquiesced to her as she had to manage all of doctors, therapists, etc., but I can't get her to engage sexually.
Quote:I have read some of the women's section, but I can't find a response to this question: Is there a pheromone that will increase her libido that she can use? I was going to order some LFM or LFN for her, but those seem to be more focused on her attracting men or her feeling better, but while being standoffish.... She gets plenty of attention from me and I already get plenty of the "back off" from her... Thoughts ladies??
I'm guessing since you guys did therapy she is aware that you guys have issues. Does she know the decrease in sexual activity bothers you and is she admitting to suffering from low libido? I'm not married or in a relationship, but I've heard from enough guys around me having the same problem. Once kids come into play a lot of women go into mommy mode.
It seems genetically programmed and some have it harder then others. (makes sense from a evolutionary point of view or humans might not have become the largest species on the planet) She will tend to their every need and as soon as they give the slightest hint that something is wrong or bothering them she will go into mommy overdrive mode
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(seen it happen a lot when visiting couples.. and children seem to know exactly how to push those buttons even if nothing is wrong)
As your relationship has been going for quite some years and this behavior has been progressively getting worse, she is kind of "locked" into this behavior and will probably think nothing is wrong about it. Anything you say to her about this (negatively) will probably come of as "attacking her" and will not be received well.
So you've got a bit of a situation there.. so I've been thinking about how to get things towards improving.. (I'm no doctor or psych, so don't take my "advice" as anything but advice.. don't want to be responsible for a broken relationship
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Let's be honest here, the thing that is happening is she is giving all her attention towards the kids.. Maybe the kids are asking/competing for this attention, or maybe she's been into this mode so long that she has forgotten how to let go and how much fun activities with you can be. So in some way the kids have an effect on her like drugs on a junky. I think, as long as the kids are around, it will be very difficult to get her to break from the behavior and give attention to you naturally. Probably everything you do to get attention from her will get responded to negatively.
One thing i think you could try to re ignite the spark is this:
So I would advice you to create an event (maybe birthday, anniversary, any reason will do) that puts you and her together for at least one day (preferably more). This way the kid's won't be a factor and she might be able to let go of her "duty to take care of them" and tend to your needs.
I'd go on a 2 day trip to some nice town/romantic place. (Not to far away so its a long trip, but far enough so she can't take a bus and head back to the kids after their first call.) (i'd take 2 days since she might have trouble letting go and relaxing at first)
Things you could do there:
* Relaxation/massage/spa thing (get her into a relaxing mindset)
* Going out dancing
* Romantic diner
To give it most chance of succeeding:
* Plan a date for this event so you both will be free from work and any important stuff (like school related for the kids).
* Make sure the kids are with your parents/her parents then and they will be enjoying themselves. (maybe ask them to take them to a theme park)
* Make sure the place you are going to is Very nice!! She really has to enjoy these days if more are to come in the future!
* Really put in effort to goto thing you know she will like.
* If she goes into panic mode (what about the kids/ why do we need to go here etc..) Don't go into debate with her.. just laugh it off and hope her attitude turns as time passes
A nice timetable would be:
Afternoon:
14:00 Check into hotel/motel
15:00 Spa/relaxation thing (maybe give the people there a call about having some champagne or other drinks ready upon arriving)
18:00 Romantic dinner
20:00 Some evening event (dancing/visiting something)
??:?? Come back to room (call the hotel and make sure there's a nice bottle of cooled drinks in the room/light some candles/put on some soft music)
I'm just thinking out loud here.. but if you get her to let go of her "duties" and relax, chances are she might enjoy herself after a while and the fire within will ignite again! If the trip is successful she will have a fresh memory of how fun doing things with you can be and she will probably be more receptive to repeat events/giving you more of her time.
Went of on kind of a massive post there and I really have to head of for work
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I hope I didn't bore you to death and have actually given some good advice you can use. Like I said, I ain't no doctor and I don't even consider myself an expert on relationships.. I can only hope my views/advice will help you out.
Cheers,
Buzzy