(01-23-2018 2:48 PM)cpwhite Wrote: Hello All,
First post
, I find myself in a situation possibly not too dissimilar to some; My wife and I are near 50 with high stress professional jobs and two kids about to leave for college and after a successful 22 year marriage I would like to recapture a bit of the magic from those times when we were a bit younger and more adventurous in the bedroom. The challenge is that atm our sex life is pretty minimal (once a month?) and while we certainly do love each other we are not "IN" love with each other the way we were when we were 30. Very comfortable, no need to change etc.
.....
Hi and welcome,
like Fedora mentioned you are not alone.
Beside the youngsters and singles on the forum you will find us married oldies sharing the same fate. Beside the change menopause will create there is a much more important psychological factor i underestimated in the beginning. Sex in a long term relationship specially with kids does not have such a high priority for most of the women. Talking to plenty of women and man beside my own wife showed exactly this pattern. Man wants sex to feel connected while women is satisfied with kids and the man at her side. Once a month is enough for the women because it is not the way she judges a relationship. While the women seems to develope their love on a deeper level man is stuck in his programming. Sex is becoming more and more an side issue for her. You can and you will get more sex from your wife if you find a way to change this pattern.
Here is my story. You may find some useful infos for your relationship.
I have a similiar setup. I am 50 and my wife 48. 2 kids.
One year ago i started to improve our sex life. Once a month sounds very familiar. Now we have sex 2-3 times per week but this wasnt an easy way. My first approach was to higher her sex drive with well known mones alone. This wasnt very successful and we tried some nutritions supplements to balance the hormones. This was also not successful. There is a reason why until now there isnt any pill to get women in the mood. You can forget this. I often talked about the lack of sex in our marriage with doubtful success. Its like beating a dead horse and will lead to frustration on both sides. The whole sex theme triggered a bad reaction from my wife. She was reacting kind of allergic at the end. Searching the net i found some interesting storys about subliminal usage and reprogramming the subconscious. PM me if you need more infos. Tried mones in addition until i found Swoon as the ultimate stress-buster for my wife. Later on Aquae Vitae. AV puts my wife in an extra caring mode. No other mone did that before and there is still no one i found like AV. I added Bad Wolf for my own personel development.
After trying various subliminals and hypnosis tracks the last years i found this one to be the absolut best one: Personal Ecology hypnosis
I am listening daily.
Like i said before i managed to get out of the sex long term trap.
We are more active. We have more fun and we are going out in bars or cinema regularly now. I switch on MTV instead of CNN to let the junk out of our life. The key is also to reduce stress as much as possible. Series like Castle (my favourite series) are made for easy evenings creating a sexual and romantic atmosphere. Reminding her how it was in the beginning instead of discussing. Dont get me wrong. Its not to be mr nice guy all the time. You have to develope your own personality to become more alpha in your relationship. This will change your sex life in the long run. Your wife should know and accept that sex is important for you. There is no reason for her to restrain. Showing her love with giving you a bj should be normal. Its like you giving her a nice massage and caring about her needs. Go slow with your wife and realize that this is a long term project. Try various mones until you find the right ones for your wife. Talk about your needs and desires in the right moment and tell her how important sex is for you. And go out and have fun with your wife.
I know its not the quick way i described but i hadnt the luck to throw a mone on and my wife turned into a nymphomaniac.
But now i have my arsenal of mones for various situations. Here is my list of mones which works for me best atm:
Aquae Vitae - makes my wife extra caring about my needs
Swoon - ultimate stress-buster if her job is exhausting her
Bad Wolf - self development to be more masculine
GOA - only for girls week to calm her down
Nude Alpha - romantic and deepening our feelings (makes me very clingy too)
Xist - romatic and deeper feelings for her
Voodoo - good mood for her and i noticed more imprinting (she calls me much more often the day after i wear voodoo but still testing)
Manimal2 - extra cuddly
Good luck and if you need help we are here.