dsouza
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Different stages of Beta to Alpha transition
03-23-2016 8:17 PM
A topic about personality.
Over the path few months I've watched myself get more confident with women.. First it was getting #'s, then getting more confident to ask for dates, then dealing with dates that flaked, then realizing that with DOZENS of women I'd build attraction through text etc and they would love it only to find them showing hesitation when it came to meeting up.
Lately I've been reading some great books that are not so much PUA like.. they are more like acting more manly and direct, not supplicating as much, using the telephone more than relying on texting etc.. Since I've been targeting some older women 35+ I realize they like a more confident, mature approach, and a lot of my texts were coming off as immature although they worked getting responses. It seems my age of 46 doesn't suit too much texting.
Anyways getting back to the point of this discussion, I'm learning now to become slowly more alpha... but what I've noticed is that this happens in stages.. At first I hated myself because I felt taking alpha roles was placing me in a positon of combat.. I was little at war with women in my mind... Sure I'd control my personality when with them but as I read more alpha books I would because more arseholish.. This is not true alpha bit it is the first stage..
I think part of it has to do with resentment, feeling used during your beta years, etc and wanting to quickly make up by changing gears. Yet this change takes time.
First its aggression and asshole behavior to me, then its more confidence and controlled behavior depending on the situation, the woman, and the environment. It seems this is a learning curve that can't be achieved by just reading books on game.. It is quite hard to relax when you're trying to be alpha at first. But relaxation and choice of techniques while maintaining alpha status without seeming arrogant or assholish is paramount to success.
Stage 1 : unconscious incompetence. Aggression , resentment, assholish behavior as opposed to alpha
Stage 2: conscious incompetence.. I realize I need to work on my behavior but at least I'm aware of it
Stage 3: conscious competence.. I realize I am finding how to handle myself and women but I still need to think out my behavior
Stage 4: unconscious competence... I am not thinking of being competent I just become it. Seamlessly and with ease.
I figure 90% of men on this board (not pointing fingers) are beta. 10% are alpha , but even of those 10% many are caught in one of the early stages above.
So where do you fit in your journey in becoming alpha? And moreso what are your methods of relaxing and carrying out plans without all the hurt, resentment, etc of past failures? Have you written down your goals to create lasting progress and change? Weekly, monthly, yearly goals? Can you carry out alpha traits while maintaining humor at the same time.. Humor is said to be #1 quality women look for in men.
I think some men who consider themselves alpha even after 10 years are still in stage 1. and others progress to stage 4 much faster...
This is where game meets confidence. And no I'm not talking about being a PUA but a great seducer.
Just some food for thought... I'd like to hear your feedback.
Dsouza
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(This post was last modified: 03-23-2016 8:19 PM by dsouza.)
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03-23-2016 8:17 PM |
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RE: Different stages of Beta to Alpha transition
03-23-2016 11:23 PM
I don't find myself to be an Alpha or Beta really, I find the connotation of an Alpha is a leader generally speaking and someone that is beta is a follower and more so when it comes to women.
I'm not Alpha in the sense that I'm out there and looking to get dates and fuck a bunch of women or even act like a leader because I'm not in some senses. I'm very confident and won't let myself get talked down to but I'm not Alpha to many men's standards here. I lead in many different aspects of my life including socially because I'm very out there. However many people here find that you are P-whipped if you believe in a monogamous relationship and don't want to get other women while also 'dating'; that's just one aspect I don't understand.
Thanks for your thoughts dsouza
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03-23-2016 11:23 PM |
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dsouza
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RE: Different stages of Beta to Alpha transition
03-26-2016 1:06 AM
I'm beginning to think Alpha is really just a state of mind.. It has nothing to do with your dick. A famous porn star maybe alpha, so is the Pope.
Alpha applies to all kinds of industries, from business, to fitness, to sports, to seduction.. I know I've missed mentioning plenty of others.
It simply means being a leader and not a follower in my mind. All alpha's possess this trait.
Does that mean beta men are somehow LESS? Some food for thought.
Knock'em dead! ![Xyxgun Xyxgun](/images/smilies/xyxgun.gif)
Dsouza
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(This post was last modified: 03-26-2016 1:06 AM by dsouza.)
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RE: Different stages of Beta to Alpha transition
03-27-2016 5:31 PM
I can agree with the four stages, I was at stage one for such a long time. I must say my divorce was painful,but it shocked my system like it needed to be shocked. I have moved from one to three.
Now as for me I'm a quite alpha at work, when there is a problem people look to me. When we have a meeting I don't speak first I actually think out the problems 1st and find out how to fix them. Most of the people in my team will argue among themselves, to figure something out. Then after they have tired themselves out I feel the eyes on me for a solution.
When I'm out my friends ask where I want to eat 1st they are all deferring to me. My friends are military so that says something about the way I must project myself. The funny thing is I'm one of the most laid back people, I don't force my will on people because I don't have to.
I think the big difference between alphas and betas is alphas give you their opinion and stand their ground. With betas they will go with any idea besides their own, they have no backbone, women can sense this a mile away.
Now there's are times where I really don't care someone asks to my opinion and I say do what you want. I don't think this is beta behavior.
I learned a while back being alpha is not about being domineering in everything, but dominat in some areas.
Im an intovert by nature it takes 5 shots of crown to pull me out. Once the "real"'me comes out you would have thought I was a different person. I personally don't like most people, I think they are shallow, and lack the depth to which most humans should aspire to be.
"Ignorance is bred by the masses, intellect is bred by the few" smellymen2002
"In short, be yourself and like yourself and it is amazing how quickly the other stuff falls into place. " Snoopyace
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2016 5:48 PM by smellymen2002.)
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03-27-2016 5:31 PM |
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RE: Different stages of Beta to Alpha transition
03-27-2016 7:02 PM
I've been using an alpha training sub from Shannon the past year or so now. And I've grown exponentially since starting it.
I'm not going to get into details, but it's your basic signs of alphaness that have developed for me. More friends, more respect at work, more worrying about my future, better socializing, etc etc.
It's hard to explain to co-workers how I get so many people to like me (+ mones), with my current personality it's great. pro tip: invite people out to do things because no one likes being the initiator.
thegentleman Wrote:Young women want a guy with lots of energy, someone who is fun, has big lofty dreams and is on his way to becoming that man. When they think of the value that you bring to a relationship, they think in terms of the experience you're going to give them. So wear something that makes them feel upbeat, and create positive emotional experiences with them that they will feel they can't get elsewhere.
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03-27-2016 7:02 PM |
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