Post: #1

Something weird happened to me a few days ago when I was at the gym. I was walking on the treadmill and most of the other treadmills were available when a woman came and used the treadmill next to me. They are placed very close together so I thought that was a little odd. A little later exactly the same thing happened with another woman but this time all other treadmills where available, probably about 10-15. I didn't wear any pheromones from a bottle and I haven't used it for several years. I'm not that attractive. I'm obese, I didn't use a deodorant and I was sweating a lot so I probably didn't smell good. How would you interpret what happened? Natural pheromones, or just me using their favorite treadmill or one close to their favorite?

Post: #2

More than likely, they felt you were not a threat of any shape or type. I have experienced this before and it's more of an indication that they felt nothing for you and you went completely unnoticed by them in either a threatening or sexual nature. It's more of an effect when people create distances then when they feel no reason to ask your permission.

Now if she made eye contact with you and maybe smiled, you might have something. The way you describe this "event" is more in line with you being invisible.

As a once overweight gym goer as yourself, I understand this event pretty well. I noticed over time, that if a guy was unusually dominant or unusually masculine in the gym beyond the populous, a women would react differently when she would do the same thing that I experienced. This would be considered a "hit". Just my .02.

Post: #3

(08-30-2016 7:12 AM)Spars Wrote:  More than likely, they felt you were not a threat of any shape or type. I have experienced this before and it's more of an indication that they felt nothing for you and you went completely unnoticed by them in either a threatening or sexual nature. It's more of an effect when people create distances then when they feel no reason to ask your permission.

Now if she made eye contact with you and maybe smiled, you might have something. The way you describe this "event" is more in line with you being invisible.

As a once overweight gym goer as yourself, I understand this event pretty well. I noticed over time, that if a guy was unusually dominant or unusually masculine in the gym beyond the populous, a women would react differently when she would do the same thing that I experienced. This would be considered a "hit". Just my .02.

Damn. I thought/hoped that I just had very attractive pheromones. I guess it's good that I just bought some aqua vitae then

Post: #4

That can be it! Seen it in the gyms as well many times. They will flock to the chubbier guy because he looks less intimidating, as opposed to the buff or athletic types.

They need someone who they feel they can "compete" with per se. It's more comforting to be close to someone as such.

Or... You're not as bad looking as you think my friend!

Post: #5

How would you rate the chics? Just my curiosity. Some women like all eyes on them.

Some women might be using/testing pheromones. Slim chance, but... I actually caught some stangers spraying a few times! No joke! Lol one girl, and a few guys at different places and times.
I live in a metropoliton area. Lots of people.

Post: #6

Hard lesson I continue to learn: looks have little to do with when it comes to if a woman finds you attractive. You may have to work harder to be noticed and you may have to switch the way you say certain things a little, but there are a multitude of ways to build attraction. Don't worry so much about looks, concern yourself more with feelings. Feeling and knowing you are confident is the difference between people seeing you as confident or walking all over you, unknowingly.

Post: #7

(08-30-2016 9:26 AM)V-nice Wrote:  That can be it! Seen it in the gyms as well many times. They will flock to the chubbier guy because he looks less intimidating, as opposed to the buff or athletic types.

They need someone who they feel they can "compete" with per se. It's more comforting to be close to someone as such.

It makes sense. I also feel much better around less attractive people, but I still think it's a little odd that they didn't use one of the other available treadmills. That's what I would have done. Just like people usually don't sit next to one in a bus if all the other seats are available.

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(08-30-2016 10:14 AM)Androcles Wrote:  How would you rate the chics? Just my curiosity. Some women like all eyes on them.

Some women might be using/testing pheromones. Slim chance, but... I actually caught some stangers spraying a few times! No joke! Lol one girl, and a few guys at different places and times.
I live in a metropoliton area. Lots of people.

I don't really remember much about the first woman. The second one was old and I didn't find her attractive.

Post: #8

(08-30-2016 10:15 AM)Spars Wrote:  Hard lesson I continue to learn: looks have little to do with when it comes to if a woman finds you attractive. You may have to work harder to be noticed and you may have to switch the way you say certain things a little, but there are a multitude of ways to build attraction. Don't worry so much about looks, concern yourself more with feelings. Feeling and knowing you are confident is the difference between people seeing you as confident or walking all over you, unknowingly.

Confidence is certainly something that I have to work on but I'm not sure how. I was bullied a lot when I was younger and now 10+ years later I still have very deep emotional scars. I'm not even sure that I have enough self esteem to know what it is.

Post: #9

Start reading. Find your value. Focus on the positives and how to think congruent with how you want to feel and be. Watch I am Not Your Guru documentary featuring Tony Robbins on Netflix. Find a therapist. Take charge and ahold of your life. Just start doing something. The gym is a good place, but some things are so deep that you should try and fix them from the inside out, instead of the outside in.

Post: #10

(08-30-2016 10:55 AM)Spars Wrote:  Start reading. Find your value. Focus on the positives and how to think congruent with how you want to feel and be. Watch I am Not Your Guru documentary featuring Tony Robbins on Netflix. Find a therapist. Take charge and ahold of your life. Just start doing something. The gym is a good place, but some things are so deep that you should try and fix them from the inside out, instead of the outside in.

Thank you for the suggestions. I am already talking to a therapist but it doesn't seem to help.