Post: #11

(04-15-2022 3:53 AM)TracerX Wrote:  I have one week, let's say I can go on two dates with the girl I want and perhaps win her over. At the same week instead I could go have sex for two days with another girl who I like but only as a fuck buddy.

OK, now you get specific!

In that case, the 'fuck buddy sex' (your words) would be a distraction from your own true goal. That's bad. It's putting a superficial short-term gratification over a long-term happiness goal. People who are able to avoid short-term gratification and take the harder but long-term more fulfilling way are more successful and happier.

There is a quote (I don't know by whom), that people not getting hindered to reach their ultimate goals by obstacles but by aiming for lesser, easier reachable goals.

If winning her over to love your is dependent on your own efforts, than take the efforts.

Post: #12

(04-15-2022 10:18 AM)Gladen Wrote:  No, I am not discrediting the logical and emotional soundness of a desirable man being desirable. I am discrediting the way most go about it.

Rather than to be themselves and let the truthful impression of being socially valued or hot-sex surface and come to light organically and naturally, most guys make it a point to make it obvious that others want them, they're getting pussy galore, and they're all that plus the obligatory bag of chips.

This does not display abundance nor higher value, it only shows insecurity, an attempt to impress, and being a braggart. It isn't the disinhibitors or the actuality that I was opining against, it was the typical practice.

In this case, let's reverse the situation. You are maybe, maybe not, interested in a girl, but she's into you. she says to you, "No biggie if you aren't, I'm fucking lots of other guys." Now, does that automatically raise your social opinion of her value to you? Probably not. It might make you want to fuck her because we're men and that's how we respond to overt sexuality, but it definitely doesn't suddenly make us want to have and hold her for our own in a relationship paradigm.

I see Gladen; good points.

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Post: #13

(04-15-2022 10:18 AM)Gladen Wrote:  No, I am not discrediting the logical and emotional soundness of a desirable man being desirable. I am discrediting the way most go about it.

Rather than to be themselves and let the truthful impression of being socially valued or hot-sex surface and come to light organically and naturally, most guys make it a point to make it obvious that others want them, they're getting pussy galore, and they're all that plus the obligatory bag of chips.

This does not display abundance nor higher value, it only shows insecurity, an attempt to impress, and being a braggart. It isn't the disinhibitors or the actuality that I was opining against, it was the typical practice.

In this case, let's reverse the situation. You are maybe, maybe not, interested in a girl, but she's into you. she says to you, "No biggie if you aren't, I'm fucking lots of other guys." Now, does that automatically raise your social opinion of her value to you? Probably not. It might make you want to fuck her because we're men and that's how we respond to overt sexuality, but it definitely doesn't suddenly make us want to have and hold her for our own in a relationship paradigm.

I would also add that this "showing it off" diminishes the element of mystery that is rather attractive usually. Also bragging about sex shows that confidentiality & respect for those other women isn't part of your values

(04-15-2022 1:01 PM)Marcus Antonius Wrote:  OK, now you get specific!

In that case, the 'fuck buddy sex' (your words) would be a distraction from your own true goal. That's bad. It's putting a superficial short-term gratification over a long-term happiness goal. People who are able to avoid short-term gratification and take the harder but long-term more fulfilling way are more successful and happier.

There is a quote (I don't know by whom), that people not getting hindered to reach their ultimate goals by obstacles but by aiming for lesser, easier reachable goals.

If winning her over to love your is dependent on your own efforts, than take the efforts.

Short term gratification, Jordon Peterson uses this term a lot haha. I agree that it's a distraction, well at least in my case.

Post: #14

If your sacks are full, you'll never be able to fully appeal to your target. You'll subconsciously act needy, and possibly say or do things that you might later regret.
Blow your load with your F-buddy, then meet your target. She will sense your lack of desperation. Her perception of you within the early days and weeks of your relationship will forge the dynamics for the long term.
Plus if it doesn't work out, you would have forfeited a few shags for nothing. Life's way too short.

Post: #15

(04-18-2022 4:22 PM)LoveInSpain Wrote:  If your sacks are full, you'll never be able to fully appeal to your target. You'll subconsciously act needy, and possibly say or do things that you might later regret.
Blow your load with your F-buddy, then meet your target. She will sense your lack of desperation. Her perception of you within the early days and weeks of your relationship will forge the dynamics for the long term.
Plus if it doesn't work out, you would have forfeited a few shags for nothing. Life's way too short.

That's an interesting perspective haha, what about all the magnetism that's supposed to occur when your sacks are full?