Post: #1

Guys, anyone has this experience and overcome it before?

I find it hard to have deep bonding with women, intimacy has always been a problem for me. Now that i am 40, i still find it hard to overcome this.

Post: #2

At 40, it's probably a problem for you because you've come to realize relationships are full of BS and HIDDEN AGENDAS. A lot of men and women are blind to that FACT. That's where I am, even though I miss that bond between man and woman.

I think I'm cursed, because I NEED TO FEEL THE FIRE that only LOVE can give. A decent friend/fuck buddy could work. I have friends with money who say they don't mind women being with them for money or material things, as long as they don't cheat with someone else. Now, I'm of the mindset that LOVE is for those in their 20s and below where material things and money hasn't infested the mind just yet.

One man's thoughts, one man's opinions. AS THE WORLD TURNS ...

Post: #3

There's a reason why, but it's buried deep inside. If you're serious about this, find a shaman and drink ayahuasca. It may be the best decision you've ever made.

Post: #4

I'm in my 40s as well, and I find it hard to get deeply bonded with the women I date. Current GF is beautiful, feminine, and genuinely cares about my wellbeing. Due to schedules, we haven't seen each other in a while, and I'm not all that bothered by it.

Post: #5

Am 33 next month and I've already come to a conclusion that women who would LOVE me for me, are long gone and are only appeared in history books.

These days I have a better chance to find a unicorn than a chick who'd love me for me. I STILL have an open mind to the ONE, but I strongly belive the chances are VERY thin to find her. So am actually happy with the occasional ONS I get.

Plus am a commitment phobe and it'll take a miracle for me to get into that DEEP BONDING stage. If I'll end up finding that one I'd use something like VD solo to reverse imprint meself with her, so I may increase the bond with her from me own end, but still chances are thin.

There's one girl that I truly love and she's at work. I've refered her by the name L in me reports. But the honest truth is am scared to go deep with her in the bond cos she's at work and so am I. I don't wanna destroy the career I built for years in a matter of months.

I also don't think it's possible these day to find her cos if it was, then I don't need to use all these products to get her attention. And yet I use'em still. Soooo....

Post: #6

Maybe you're just not built for that kind of relationship? I personally find bonding like that quite hard but that's just me, I'm a Weirdo.

When I think of intimacy a whole range of things come to mind, it's possible to be intimate with all people from family and friends to strangers in a whole spectrum of ways.

The best way I could define it is as some kind of intelligent resonance, there's a sharing of eachothers experience in a way thats self aware and aware of the other person.

Sometimes it's natural, other times you have to work at it until at becomes more natural, and the more natural it is the more intimate you feel with someone.

Consider throwing out your idea of how you would like to be intimate and maybe try something else? You might find it easier to be intimate with a partner in a way you might never have thought of before.

Or don't listen to me lol, I did say I find it hard myself so what do I know?

Post: #7

Ya see? I though I was weird too for awhile. I always hear girls asking why I don't miss them. I've internalized by using inspiration from my caveman ancestors: how can I focus all my being on surviving and trying to find food, if I'm spending any ounce of energy on missing you?

Intellectually, missing someone is also a waste of energy. There's nothing to be gained by it at all, except for maybe teasing yourself so that when you do seem, it's more emotional because you've been without.

After all, there's no debate that the reason we experience "love" is to procreate.

(08-29-2017 2:28 PM)BarefootOxford Wrote:  I'm in my 40s as well, and I find it hard to get deeply bonded with the women I date. Current GF is beautiful, feminine, and genuinely cares about my wellbeing. Due to schedules, we haven't seen each other in a while, and I'm not all that bothered by it.

Post: #8

(08-30-2017 12:51 PM)Spars Wrote:  Ya see? I though I was weird too for awhile. I always hear girls asking why I don't miss them

We're all weird in our own ways.

I don't miss them because I enjoy my alone time. I like hanging out with my friends ... going on dates ... but at the end of the day ... I like coming home to an empty , quiet house to collect my thoughts. And im usually not home long enough to waste time missing someone...lol

Post: #9

I think its more of a sign of maturity. You as a man are comfortable with or without her. The stoic, non-clingy, non-needy man is also very attractive to women. You have your mission in life and it isnt her. Which is good.

Post: #10

Perhaps the real question is, "Why are you afraid to fall in love?"

Don't kill the messenger.

Peace