Post: #1

Here's something I have been wondering about since I started to use and read about Pheromone's. It's the issue about congruence and using Pheromone's that match with your mood/personality. I hope the girls in here can share your experiences and guys, your opinions are very much appreciated!!!

This concerns Pheromone's that are "opposites" (well not really, but we all know that women often classify themselves as either one or the other) like Instant Sexiness/A and Instant Sexiness/B, TAL and TAH, Lace and Leather, maybe even Dominance and Estratetraenol.

Let me describe myself: I'm 28 yrs old and for a woman I'm quite tall. 5'9' (1,76m) and I refuse to wear flats. I always wear heels, mostly like 3/4 inches high, I like to dress nice and wear makeup. Next to that I'm not so much an outgoing person. I'm not shy, but I'm reserved and I like to watch people from a distance. Therefore I'm often mistaken for an stuck-up bitchy kind of girl.

Looking at that, I'd say that because of my tall, business, reserved kind of appearance I'd do great with Instant Sexiness/A, TAL or Dominance, but I get nothing from those. I'm doing a lot better with Instant Sexiness/B, Lace (never wore TAH) and MX135. It seems to break down the wall and makes me more approachable.

So what's the deal? I'm not congruent with the "soft" Pheromone's, but they make me appear softer anyway and people don't shy away because something seems "off".

Something else I was wondering about, if you'd use a Pheromone like Instant Sexiness/A, or Dominance with someone who is dominant himself, would that someone act even more dominant, or tone down and give you the lead? (Like, in a perfect world )

Curious about your thoughts on this, thank you!

Post: #2

(03-19-2010 4:19 PM)TearsOfJoy Wrote:  ...for a woman I'm quite tall. 5'9' (1,76m) and I refuse to wear flats. I always wear heels, mostly like 3/4 inches high, I like to dress nice and wear makeup. Next to that I'm not so much an outgoing person. I'm not shy, but I'm reserved and I like to watch people from a distance. Therefore I'm often mistaken for an stuck-up bitchy kind of girl.

Looking at that, I'd say that because of my tall, business, reserved kind of appearance ...

Ah yes, a woman I'd look up to, I'm 5' 9" also,and you in heels... but then again I lived with a woman 6' 3" when I was younger.

I'm thinking the Instant Sexiness/B is "softening" you, making you more approachable. The Instant Sexiness/A is too harsh for you making you intimidating and magnifying the effect because of your size and appearance.

Of course, I reserve the right to be way off base.

Post: #3

Some men like their women tall indeed... My SO is 5'10' so he's used to my height but he likes me barefoot so that he's taller than me

What you're stating is exactly what confuses me. I've often read that with for example alpha-androstenol, people can get confused if you're not open to conversation. The a-nol suggests that you are but your bodylanguage or acting suggests that you're not.

Now my appearance could suggest that I'm a dominant person. But unlike matching the Pheromone with the person, like with a-nol, I'm going to wear something I don't really express.... Only this time, people DO accept it. Isn't that just funny?

Post: #4

Another guy chiming in... Using me as an example, I am generally more reserved until I get to know someone. When I wear more than 2 drops A314 (which is more for 'Alpha' male Pheromone signature), I get almost fearful responses from people as if I am a mafia Don and they are afraid they are going to be getting fitted for cement shoes. My perception of myself as a big cuddly teddy bear isn't how others perceive me right off.

Just my 2 cents... This is a case of how you see yourself not necessarily matching how others see you. It could be that the 'softer' Pheromone blends make you seem more approachable to others even though you didn't see yourself as being unnaproachable to begin with. I run into this quite often where I have to be careful to use more social Pheromones to balance out what seems to be my more 'alpha lone wolf' type natural signature.

Post: #5

Another guy chiming in. I think congruence is like believability. Pheromones send off certain signatures. I've always been told I'm intimidating to approach. Really I'm just quiet. Putting on A314 and heavy -none mixes can put me in ghost range or people avoid me. It amplifies my "intimidating" feel I guess. If I use a lot of socials, more people approach me but I'm not very congruent to being social or outgoing. Takes a lot of effort from me so sometimes I'll just go off and be completely opposite of what my social mix is giving off. When I do that, I notice those slightly weird moments or looks because I'm giving weird signals. Pheromones tell people things, congruence is how well you can get people to believe what your Pheromones are telling others. A314 represents powerful alpha male. Being congruent to that is acting that way through body language, speech, clothes, etc.

So you are already that intimidating, tall, lovely business woman. Adding more to enhance the dominating, alpha female MIGHT be why its not working for you where as the "soft cuddly" mixes seem to be working better because it may help reduce that intimidation.

Post: #6

Thanks guys! I see most of you have the same characteristics as I do (let's call them "qualities" huh? ) and have experienced the same. From the beginning I've been thinking stuff like Instant Sexiness/A would be working for me because there was a "match", although I really wanted to give off a softer vibe. I thought it wouldn't be believable as Zeph stated, but maybe I'm not as scary as I think either

Post: #7

(03-20-2010 3:01 PM)zeph Wrote:  Pheromones tell people things, congruence is how well you can get people to believe what your Pheromones are telling others. A314 represents powerful alpha male. Being congruent to that is acting that way through body language, speech, clothes, etc.

I'm so glad I read this thread.

That was a great distinction for me.

Thanks Zeph.

Post: #8

I often notice, the shorter the person, the more aggressive and dominant their persona. They really can get on your nerves and I feel like smacking them. And the taller they are, the more gentle. I suppose for the wee folk it's compensation for being ignored or not being taken seriously by idiots. But I think being smaller or larger ultimately has nothing to do with your approachability. Approachability is more directly tied to your body language, facial expressions and outward signs of status. I tend to initially intimidate people but, so I try to make them more comfortable by being friendly and reassuring. Usually works.

Post: #9

Whew........ Zeph descibed it perfectly.

Congruence is important but you still send the signal with or without it. The important thing is to not to act opposite of the signal your sending.

The easiest example is Instant Openness. It gives a friendly upbeat open chatty vibe. Now if you sit in the corner with a mean look on your face and are not open to talking to anyone its just not going to work. It sends a confusing signal. You dont have to act like the vibe your sending just appear open and friendly.

I am more of a TAL girl myself and wearing TAL enhances that for me. TAH on the other hand makes me feel girly and weak. I do use it but I either dab a little tal under my nose of wear a 1/2 dose to my chest to offset that feeling I get. Now I dont really have to be totally congruent with the TAH signature, its just not me but I do make sure I dont take the lead or get pushy when I wear it. (I can do that some times LOL) I notice my body language more and dont use aggressive postures. I tend to use more soft girly postures. A lot of it comes naturally because of the feelings the pheromone is evoking in you so you may not even notice the change in your body language but if your one of the ones that doesnt get self effects then making a little conscious evert to be congruent helps.

Tisha

Post: #10

Mmm Hmm.
I am a tall, domineering person who is usually chosen to lead (I've been in group sociological testing and experiments. Very interesting stuff). People who meet me generally admit later that they were intimidated by me. And, like you and others have revealed, I am actually an introvert (INTJ to be exact) and I sometimes put an effort into appearing friendly and harmless to make myself more approachable - humor works pretty well.

Instant Sexiness/A? Just call me the raging bitch. Cross me and you die, you useless sack of bones & shit.
Dominance (Love Potion)? I do a little better with this one, but still not the vibe I'm looking for. I just want to get things done and if you question me I will flay you with my tongue.

TAH? Love it! People engage me in conversations, move closer into my hula hoop, are put more at ease. Just what I am looking for in a social!
Heart & Soul is another one - and Instant Honesty, and True Confessions. Love all those "warm & fuzzies"

Let it be noted however, DH doesn't particularly respond to the warm fuzzies I use for social lubricant. He's all over me with Dominance, or other super-bitch mixes. I hypothesize that's because that is the "me" that attracted him. He's always ready to take the ram by the horns, as it were.

So, short answer, yes, I also use softer Pheromones to take off the sharp pointy edges. Is that incongruous? I suppose - only if I snapped anyone's head off who attempted to engage me. Which I don't.