Back again, looking for the right mone!
06-03-2022 12:54 PM
TL;DR: I'm looking for a specific 'mone or mix to increase sexual attraction with a guy I'm very close to. TrueInstinct might be perfect but I'd like to hear any suggestions.
Hey all!
My last experiment with 'mones in 2015 went so well that I didn't need them and I eventually sort of forgot about them all together.
Now I'm back exploring and looking for a pheromone or mix to help me escape the friendzone with a particular target.
For those that want the longer story, here goes...
A brief history
He (32M) and I (35M) already share an incredibly close relationship. We met just before lockdown and from the start we immediately hit it off! Confiding in one another our deepest wounds we've never shared, spending hours doing yoga and hanging out together, and passing the time talking about our shared interests and plans for the future. Even in the earliest days those future plans included each other.
Like twin flames, we both firmly believe our meeting was destined, not just circumstantial. He's even said to me many times that I'm a pillar to him and he probably would have killed himself if it wasn't for my support over the last 2 years.
Our relationship seems so ripe for romance that even people we meet assume we're boyfriends until they ask. So naturally, once I told him I liked him, I was confused when he responded that he just sees our relationship as fraternal, like brothers. Damn!
Although to him it looked like I moved past my crush quickly and graciously, inside I was struggling to make sense of it all. I spent ages trying to understand what wasn't clicking for him. This is what I found.
Physical attraction is there
As you do in these situations, I assumed he didn't see me as physically attractive, but that wasn't it. I'd say I'm an above average guy in the face (6-7 out of 10 but I've been told higher) and I know I'm more attractive than some of his exes. Still, realizing the toll working from home took on me I started looking after myself and making an effort when I'm around him. I came to find this was likely in vain when he told me he does think I'm physically attractive.
In fact, he said he thinks a lot of his friends are. That just doesn't readily convert to romantic attraction for him. I was still confused but at least I could count this as a win!
Emotional attraction is there too
Over time, I came to understand the depth of his emotional childhood trauma from his parents. Being an armchair psychologist, I spotted the pattern this has played in his love life. All of his previous relationship have been with narcissists, bullies, and emotionally unavailable guys. Basically, anyone that helps him relive the cycle of abuse. FWIW, he recognizes this pattern too and knows he'll need years of therapy to heal from it.
At this point I figured there's not a lot I can do until he heals but I don't mind playing the long game. Until then, I'm one of the only people that he trusts to help him process his trauma, which can only help my case. I figured that once he begins healing, he'll be able to see our relationship as a healthy one worth exploring romantically. Another win!
Sexual attraction is lacking
Finally, in a much more recent conversation he revealed his conception of romantic relationships which is what makes me think pheromones can help push me over the edge for the final win.
He explained that for him, romantic attraction = fraternal bond + sexual attraction. It was interesting to hear that he doesn't feel physical and sexual attraction as one in the same. Even more insightful was realizing our existing fraternal bond doesn't count me out the race but actually pushes me halfway there.
Next steps?
Having this very precise insight makes me think starting with a purely sexual male pheromone is what I need (he's attracted to masculine men so probably wouldn't respond to female pheromones). I've looked at TrueInstinct by True and trust their brand already, but I've been out the 'mone game so long I'd like to hear if there's anything new I should consider. For now I don't think I need a mix but willing to consider adding things over time.
Lastly, I'm open to reading any posts or articles you think I should read about increasing sexual attraction and/or escaping the friend zone. I've read House of Pheromones article on this but, given what I know now, I'm not sure if I believe that I truly need to distance myself from him beforehand. He's already quite anxious about losing friends so distancing might make it worse plus he's recently taken interest in a guy he met last week. That guy is only 19 so I can't see it blossoming into anything serious but I'd definitely like to prevent that.
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2022 2:25 PM by UTroyBoy.)
|
Back again, looking for the right mone!
Post
