Post: #1

Generally most of the advice I have read about approaching groups instructs the guy to engage the entire group and win over the group. I found an alternative theory which suggests that the guy approaches the girl and only talk to her. Only talk to her friends if introduced. Very interesting.

Quote:

1. Start talking first to the girl you most want to get to know.
2. Be cool with her friends if introduced, but don't be the one who breaks circle.
3. Keep the lion's share of your attention focused on your girl and don't be away from talking to her for long for any reason.
4. Don't try to be the new alpha -- treat the guys in the group already with respect
5. Avoid talking to the "group" or addressing people as a collective ("Hey guys!"). Address people as individuals -- nobody responds to "Hey guys!"
   

Post: #2

(02-17-2018 11:44 PM)metaltree Wrote:  Generally most of the advice I have read about approaching groups instructs the guy to engage the entire group and win over the group. I found an alternative theory which suggests that the guy approaches the girl and only talk to her. Only talk to her friends if introduced. Very interesting.

Back in my single days, I did that several times. It worked probably 2 out of 3 times, actually. It was interesting because the woman's friends generally did not appreciate my approach (to put it mildly) but their not liking me actually made the woman more interested. When I say worked, I am referring to anything from oral in the parking lot to a ONS. I had to be in the right frame of mind for that type of approach, however.

Post: #3

I have one friend who over the years has gotten approached a lot by women. He is definitely a better looking guy than I am and he doesn't wear pheromones or even knows what they are. Not the type of guy who would be interested in such a thing. (Thanks to pheromones and him being married for several years I've been with more women than he has )

We would be standing there hanging out and talking. When a girl approached she would usually just go right up to him and talk directly to him. Often it was to introduce him to a female friend of hers. I would just step back and let it play out. I would usually be completely ignored as if I wasn't there but it seemed completely natural so I would just let it play out. The woman didn't feel the need to "engage the entire group".

Form this perspective of watching my male friend get approached it seems more natural to go for the person of interest. Maybe women perceive this the same way I did when a friend gets approached. Admittedly I would be envious of him and wish I was the guy that got approached though.

Post: #4

Imo it really depends on how open/bitchy the girls are. After a while you get a feel for which girls in the group will like you and how likely they will be protective of their friends. If they're all looking icy, just try to approach one, as it's less likely you'll hit a mine.

Also it certainly depends on the venue. You can approach just the girl you like in a club, as often it's too loud to talk to the whole group anyways. Though if you're in a bar and she's there with one female friend, it's much better to engage the group. If the friend gets bored, she may try to get rid of you and get her friend back. There's very few chicks, that'd instantly ditch their friends to hook up.

It probably also depends on yourself. I'm more chatty/social, when I go out, and what works great for me is generating some social momentum, where I play girls against each other. If the girls see, that other girls are into you, they become much more attracted. Works better on different groups, than with her friends usually.

A big part of game is calibration and adjusting on the spot, if you go in there thinking black and white, your results will be lackluster, unless you're very attractive/have status.

Post: #5

(02-19-2018 5:31 AM)idontknow Wrote:  It probably also depends on yourself. I'm more chatty/social, when I go out, and what works great for me is generating some social momentum, where I play girls against each other. If the girls see, that other girls are into you, they become much more attracted. Works better on different groups, than with her friends usually.

I'd like to second this. As I've seen the same too. A part of the push pull scenario. Works on ur favor when ya play it right.

Post: #6

My opinion, for whatever it is worth, is that while both methods are perfectly viable depending on the situation, your mood, attitude, posture, and overall aura (for lack of a better word) will make you or break you.

The main thing in any situation is to be different. You must assume that any woman that you feel like approaching has already been approached at least a dozen times already today. As men tend to be the pursuers, you need to not only get noticed as different, but actually be different.

Idontknow brought up a technique that makes one stand out. Causing competition for you increases one's value / desirability and by not 'trying to get the girl' it piques the lady's interest...why is he not trying to get me into bed? I need to see what's so special about him.

Singling out a lady from a group is generally either facilitated or hindered by the group, but it depends. Sometimes you need to win the group before you can win her hand, and other times you just need to alienate the group to win her hand. Playing them off against each other is very effective if there is any sort of rivalry in the group, but if they are of the 'one for all and all for one' mentality, then you must dazzle the group or you will be seen as just another wanna-be sycophant hovering around their powerful aura of femininity.

No matter what, always open with something that will fly under the 'good girl' radar and make you come off as unique.