Post: #1

Oh Cracked.com, how would I get through my marriage without you?

Post: #2

Wow.. Lmao, so opinionated...

Post: #3

Every woman I have ever had a long-term committed relationship with (I think 5 or 6 now) in the past has threatened to do some sort of bodily harm to me when I broached the subject of declawing our cat/s. That's more than an 80% ratio.

Most memorable:Ex g/f and I are having argument; she takes kitchen knife during the heat of the moment and asks me how I would like the sensation of being castrated.

Funniest moment (from other's pov's): Ex g/f learns I had gone behind her back and gotten our (or, in her words, her cat) cat declawed. I think I was 19/20 then. He was wearing his surgical strips on his paws when she came home. I wasn't home for her ice-queen look. But I felt the after-effects. Her family owned a farm with this one particular pot-bellied pig pet that scared me to death (turns out pigs can sense fear), whenever I would come over and have dinner with them that...oinker, would charge me. She was acting completely normal and sane, like nothing had happened (which immediately raised my red flags as she was most definitely an anti-declawing advocate and we'd had more than one spat because of it), she took me out to the barn to help with getting some firewood so we could have a fireside dinner with her fam. I'm the first to enter, as I was turning to speak to her (been to long to remember what) I hear a squeal, that little...oinkers battle cry , she gives me this smirk, starts to close the door, already that pig is getting closer to me so I ran INto the barn as I didn't want him ramming me from behind...well I'll just say that pig tore off my pants and I had to climb the ladder to the upper loft area to get away from him. That sucker STAYED by the ladder the whole time till my ex's dad finally came out looking for me, 5 hours later. We broke up not long after that incident.

Friendly word of warning: Mainly for men who are thinking of doing this to a cat.

Post: #4

Dave Chappelle show, Wayne Brady episode classic.